Friend … or foe?
Chester the puppy kept me highly entertained over the weekend. We spent some time in a house with a shiny, reflective oven door located right at puppy eye level. He spent much of the visit trying to play with the puppy “in” the oven.
His little brain couldn’t quite figure out that the puppy in the oven was actually his own reflection. 😂
Chester didn’t give up easily — he was curious, interested, and engaged. He tried a few different ways to coax that puppy out, sometimes barking playfully, sometimes just sitting and quietly studying him.
Throughout, he treated this other puppy as friend, not foe.
I wonder — could we learn something from Chester?
Consider: How do you treat yourself when you come face to face with your feelings, behaviors, or choices?
When you look closely at yourself, do you see friend or foe?
When you look at yourself, are you curious, inviting, friendly? Or are you demanding, harsh, judgmental, and impatient?
There’s huge power in the ability to see ourselves accurately — our strengths, our weak spots, and everything in between. This awareness allows us to function from a place of grounded perspective and wisdom.
And yet many of us avoid doing the tough but necessary work to see ourselves accurately.
And it’s no wonder! If you see an enemy peering back at you when you are in front of your own metaphorical oven door, it’s tempting to avoid that reflection completely.
But if you can treat that reflection with friendly curiosity and encouragement, it’s a lot easier to maintain eye contact.
This can feel counterintuitive for some high-achievers who are used to putting their heads down, berating and driving themselves towards ever-higher goals of perfection. They have the mistaken belief that treating themselves like the enemy will yield the best results.
A friendlier attitude towards yourself doesn’t result in lower standards, though — it promotes a deeper capacity to see yourself accurately, to challenge yourself in more effective ways, and to create sustainable growth towards excellence.
ACTION: The next time you catch yourself treating yourself like the enemy, ask “how would I help a friend find their way forward in this situation?” And then treat yourself the same way.
RESOURCE: In this recent piece in the New York Times, David Brooks looks at the power of connection, describes ways we can be better listeners, and invites us to see each other more fully. Read it simply for inspiration — or use it as an invitation to approach the world (and yourself) a little more like Chester did with his playmate in the oven.